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Here is my collection of quotes! They are now in order by book. I'll tell you whose quote it is after each one.
















Guilty Pleasures
 
No, death hadn't changed [Willie] much.  But just in case, I avoided looking directly into his eyes.  It was standard policy for dealing with vampires.  He was a slime bucket, but now he was an undead slime bucket. - Anita
 
Fear ran up my spine and into my throat.  I fought an urge to draw my crucifix out of my shirt and drive him from my office.  Somehow throwing a client out using a holy item seemed less than professional. - Anita
 
Craig, our night secretary, was typing furiously at the computer keyboard.  His eyes widened as I walked over the thick carpeting.  Maybe it was the cross swinging on its long chain.  Maybe it was the shoulder rig tight across my back, and the gun out in plain sight.  He didn't mention either.  Smart man.  - Anita
 
"My god, you mean you've only had two hours of sleep.  Do you want to shoot me, or what?"  I didn't answer the question.  I'm not that rude. - Monica, Anita
 
"Anita, are you all right?"  Why do people always ask you that when the answer is obviously no?  I spoke in a whisper, not sure how it would feel to talk.  It didn't feel too bad.
"Just peachy keen." - Jean-Claude, Anita
 
I have been on the wrong side of a lot of locked doors.  Not a one of them had just opened for me, but there was always a first time.  Yeah, I should live so long.  Scratch that; bad phrase. - Anita
 
The ratman froze, staring at me.  "Why are you laughing?"  His voice held just a hint of unease.  Good.
"I was hoping that the vampires would come for me soon and save me.  You've got to admit that's funny." - a random wererat, Anita
 
"Well," I said, "all we need is the theme from Dracula, Prince of Darkness, and we'll be all set."
Her voice was like her laugh, high and harmless.  Planned innocence.  "You think you are funny, don't you?"  I shrugged.
"It comes and goes." - Anita, Nikolaos
 
Geez, look into my eyes.  You'd think the city's master vampire could be more original. - Anita
 
"If you fail me again, large or small, I will tear your throat out, and my children will bathe in a shower of your blood."  Nicely graphic; a little melodramatic, but nicely graphic. - Nikolaos, Anita
 
Everyone has their weaknesses.  Some people smoke.  I collect stuffed penguins.  If you won't tell, I won't. - Anita
 
I wondered if I had offended him.  I wondered if I cared. - Anita
 
"I told her why we are here.  I told her you wouldn't hurt Jack."
"The coffin?"  I smiled.  I couldn't help it.  He was a 'jack in the box.' - Phillip, Anita
 
I try not to be cruel, just persistant.  There are days when the difference is pretty damn slight. - Anita
 
You can't save everybody.  In fact, there are days when I think you can't save anyone.  Each person has to save himself first, then you can move in and help.  I have found this philosophy does not work during a gun battle, or a knife fight either.  Outside of that it works just fine. - Anita
 
I had been downright paranoid all afternoon, aware of everyone near me.  By the time I went for the car, my neck and shoulders were knotted into one painful ache.  The most frightening thing I'd seen all afternoon had been the prices on the designer clothing. - Anita
 
Pity is an emotion that can get you killed.  The only thing more dangerous is blind hate, and maybe love. - Anita
 
"Where are we going, Phillip?"
"What?"
I wanted to say, 'Question too hard for you?' but I resisted. - Anita, Phillip
 
If he stopped us with Phillip in his little fishnet shirt, all nicely scarred, would he be suspicious?  Where are you going, miss?  I'm sorry, officer, we have this illegal party to go to, and we're running late. - Anita
 
Theresa strode over to us in a swish of cloth.  "Enough of this, animator.  He can't do it, so he pays the price.  Either leave now, or join us at our...feast."
"Are you having rare Who-roast-beast?" I asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"It's from Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas.  You know the part, 'And they'd Feast! Feast! Feast! Feast! Feast! They would feast on Who-pudding and rare Who-roast-beast.'"
"You are crazy."
"So I've been told." - Theresa, Anita
 
People were trying to kill me.  It was a good sign.  Sort of.  It meant I knew something important.  Important enough to kill for.  The trouble was, I didn't know what it was I was supposed to know. - Anita
 
A young woman...was handing out pamphlets just inside the door.  A guide to the service, I supposed.  She smiled and said, "Welcome.  Is this your first time?"  I smiled back at her, pleasant, as if I wasn't carrying enough weponry to take out half the congregation. - a random woman at the Church of Eternal Life, Anita
 
Methinks we have a clue.  Be still, my heart. - Anita
 
"You son of a bitch, you fucking son of a bitch."  My voice sounded utterly calm, no emotion whatsoever.  Aubrey's face frowned at me through a mask of Phillip's blood.
"Do not say such things to me."
"You ugly, stinking, mother-fucking bastard." - Anita, Aubrey
 
"You're not squeamish, are you?"  I smiled when I said it.  He stared at me, blue eyes gone suddenly cold.  His whole face became different.  There was nothing there, no expression, except that awful coldness.  Emptiness.  I didn't faint from fear or run screaming from the room, but it was something of an effort.  "You've proved your point, Edward.  Can the perfect-killer routine, and let's go." - Anita, Edward
 
"You don't smoke, do you?"
"No, why?"
"They're afraid of fire."
"Great; we're going to be eaten alive because neither of us smokes."  I almost laughed.  He sounded so thoroughly disgusted... - Anita, Edward
 
"I won't die, eaten alive," he said.  He put a fresh clip in his gun.  "I'll do you first if you want, or you can do it yourself."
"Save your bullets, Edward."  I lifted a can of gasoline in one hand.
"What are you planning?" he asked.
"I'm going to set the shed on fire."  I splashed gasoline on the door.  The smell was sharp and tugged at the back of my throat.
"With us inside?" he asked.
"Yes."
"I'd rather shoot myself, if it's all the same to you." - Edward, Anita
 
What the hell was I doing standing in the middle of a cave, in the dark, surrounded by wererats, quoting Dr. Seuss, and trying to kill a one-thousand-year-old vampire?  It had been one of my stranger weeks. - Anita
 
"Stop playing with my mind, Jean-Claude."
"Whatever do you mean?" he asked.
"I know that the otherworldly beauty is a trick.  So stop it."
"I am not doing it," he said.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"When you have the answer, Anita, come back to me, and we will talk."
I was too tired for riddles.  "Who do you think you are?  Using people like this."
"I am the new master of the city," he said.  He was suddenly next to me, fingers touching my cheek.  "And you put me upon the throne."
I jerked away from him.  "You stay away from me for a while, Jean-Claude, or I swear..."
"You'll kill me?" he said.  He was smiling, laughing at me.  I didn't shoot him.  And some people say I have no sense of humor." - Anita, Jean-Claude
 
He leaned into the car, one arm on the roof, one on the door.  "Now, answer my question.  Would you really cut out Monica's heart, so she couldn't come back as a vampire?"
I stared into the blackness of his sunglasses and said, "Yes."
"Remind me never to piss you off." - Phillip, Anita
 
"I will cut out your heart."  I was still smiling, I couldn't seem to stop.  "Then I will burn it and scatter the ashes in the river.  Do you understand me?"  She swallowed audibly.  Her health-club tan looked a little green.  She nodded, staring at me like I was the bogey man.  I think she believed I'd do it.  Peachy keen.  I hate to waste a really good threat. - Anita
 
"You smell of other people's blood, ma petite."
I smiled at him, sweetly.  "It was no one you knew." - Jean-Claude, Anita
 
"You are either very brave, or very stupid."
"You really need at least one dimple to go with the voice."
Jean-Claude said softly, "I'm betting on stupid." - Nikolaos, Anita, Jean-Claude
 
I walked back past the coffin and hesitated.  I had an urge to knock on the smooth wood.  Anybody home? I didn't do it.  For all I knew someone might have knocked back. - Anita
 
Guilty Pleasures treads a thin line between entertainment and the sadistic.  The Circus goes over the edge and down into the abyss.  And here I go inside.  Oh, joy in the morning. - Anita
 
The Laughing Corpse
 
Surely being in love doesn't cause you to lose your sense of good taste.  If I ever buy a gown with sequins on it, someone just shoot me. - Anita
 
Elsie Markowitz came out of the dressing rooms.  Kasey was trailing behind, scowling.  I knew how she felt.  "Oh, Anita," Elsie said, "you look adorable."  Great.  Adorable, just what I wanted to hear.
"Thanks."
"I especially like the ribbons at your throat.  We'll all be wearing them, you know."
"Sorry about that," I said.  She frowned at me.
"I think they just set off the dress."  It was my turn to frown.
"You're serious, aren't you?"  Elsie looked puzzled.
"Well, of course I am.  Don't you like the dresses?"  I decided not to answer on the grounds that it might piss someone off.  I guess, what can you expect from a woman who has a perfectly good name like Elizabeth, but prefers to be named after a cow? - Elizabeth Markowitz, Anita
 
My right hand was sort of casually near my gun, without looking like I was reaching for my gun.  It wasn't easy.  Reaching for a gun usually looks like reaching for a gun.  No one seemed to notice though.  Goody for our side. - Anita
 
His pale eyes flicked from the gun to my face, then back to the gun.  "You wouldn't be so tough without that piece."  If he wanted me to offer to arm wrestle him, he was in for a disappointment. - Tommy, Anita
 
It's the cross-shaped scar on my arm.  Only vampires have them, right?  A cross shoved into unclean flesh.  Mine had been a branding iron specially made.  A now dead master vampire had ordered it.  Thought it would be funny.  Hardy-har. - Anita
 
His smile widened, still not fangs.  He did that better than any living vampire I knew.  Was living vampire an oxymoron?  I wasn't sure anymore. - Anita
 
Who would have ever thought I'd be afraid of a zombie, any kind of zombie?  Nicely ironic that. - Anita
 
Important safety tip with most of the spiritual world: if you ignore it, it has less power.  This does not work with demons or other demi-beings.  Other exceptions to the rule are vampires, zombies, ghouls, lycanthropes, witches...Oh, hell, ignoring only works for ghosts. - Anita
 
Zerbrowski was peering at the aquarium.  He glanced my way.  "These are the biggest freaking angelfish I've ever seen.  You could fry some of 'em up in a pan."
"Leave the fish alone, Zerbrowski," I said.  He grinned.
"Sure, just a thought." - Zerbrowski, Anita
 
People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening. - Anita
 
"You are mine, Anita.  Willing or not, you are mine."
"See, Jean-Claude, here's where you lose me.  First you try seducing me, which has its pleasant side.  When that doesn't work, you resort to threats."
"It is not a threat, ma petite.  It is the truth."
"No, it isn't.  And stop calling me ma fucking petite." - Jean-Claude, Anita
 
We would go down to the Tenderloin.  Pimps beware.  I was bringing the Master as backup.  It was like carrying a thermonuclear device to kill ants.  Overkill has always been a specialty of mine. - Anita
 
"Damn you, Jean-Claude, damn you."
"That, dear Anita, was done long before you met me." - Anita, Jean-Claude
 
Had to see.  Had to look.  Might find a clue.  Sure, and pigs could fucking fly.  But still, maybe, maybe there would be a clue.  Maybe.  Hope is a lying bitch. - Anita
 
I wanted to say something brilliant.  My God, Holmes, how did you know the zombie was hiding in the flower pot? - Anita
 
I felt like shit, but it was happy shit. - Anita
 
Circus of the Damned
 
"If you came here to call me names, get the hll oout of my office.  If you have real business, state it, then get the hell out of my office." - Anita
 
"If the Master eats you, can I have your nifty coveralls?" Zerbrowski asked.
"Buy your own, you cheap bastard."
"Id rather have the ones that have enveloped your luscious body."
"Give it a rest, Zerbrowski.  I'm not into little choo-choos."
"What the hell do trains have to do with anything?" Dolph asked.  Zerbrowski and I looked at each other.  We started giggling and couldn't stop.  I could claim sleep deprivation.  I'd been on my feet for fourteen straight hours, raising the dead and talking to right-wing fruicakes.  The vampire victim was a perfect end to a perfect night.  I had a right to be hysterical with laughter.  I don't know what Zerbrowski's excuse was. - Zerbrowski, Anita
 
The Lunatic Cafe
 
Coming soon!
 
Bloody Bones
 
There was nothing but the photos.  No explanation.  Bert had said to come to his office after I'd looked at them.  He'd explain everything.  Yeah, I believed that.  The Easter Bunny is a friend of mine, too. - Anita
 
[Bert] sighed.  "If you didn't make me so much money, I wouldn't put up with your shit."
"Ditto." I said.  That about summed up our relationship. - Bert, Anita
 
I could move.  [Richard] wouldn't like it, but...he'd let me go. Jean-Claude, on the other hand...He'd never let me go.  The question was, did I want him to let me go?  Answer: hell, yes. - Anita
 
Larry twisted in his seat.  He was sitting beside the pilot.  "You're really afraid of flying?" ...He sounded amused.  "Yes, Larry, I'm really afraid of flying."  I hoped sarcasm traveled the headsets as clearly as amusement did.  Larry laughed.  Evidently, sarcasm traveled. - Larry, Anita
 
Stirling had wanted this land for some perverse reason.  Maybe because he was told he couldn't have it.  Some people are like that.  The more you say no, the more they want you.  It reminded me of a certain master vampire I knew. - Anita
 
Bayard had gotten us a black Jeep with black-tinted windows and more bells and whistles than I could even guess at.  "Some of these roads are not even paved.  I thought you might need something more substantial than just a car."  I resisted the urge to pat him on the head and say 'Good flunkie'. - Anita, Lionel Bayard
 
"Why don't I get a shotgun?" Larry asked.  I just looked at him.  He looked serious.  I shook my head.  
"When you can handle the nine, we'll talk about shotguns."
"Great."  Oh, for the enthusiasm of youth. - Larry, Anita
 
I guess I don't entirely trust God.  I never doubt Him, but His motives are too beyond me.  Through a glass darkly and all that.  Just once I'd like to see through the damn glass clearly. - Anita
 
"Please tell me he didn't just go poof," Larry said.
"He didn't just go poof," I said.
"What did he do, then?"
"How the hell do I know.  This wasn't covered in fairies 301." - Larry, Anita
 
A sound jerked me around.  The Browning sort of materialized in my hand.  I was staring down the barrel at Jean-Claude.  "Well, ma petite, are you going to shoot me?"  I was still standing there with the gun pointed at him. - Anita, Jean-Claude
 
I shook my head.  Asking Jean-Claude not to be a pain in the ass was like asking rain not to be wet.  Why try? - Anita
 
"Damn you," I said softly and with feeling.  [Jean-Claude] smiled, "We've been over that, ma petite, you are too late." - Anita, Jean-Claude
 
"I'll drive," Larry said.
"No, you won't," I said.  ...Larry held out his hand for the keys.
"You have to trust me sometimes."  I just looked at him. "I promise to shoot anything, human or monster, that threatens me while I'm gone."  He made the Boy Scout sign, three fingers to heaven.  "You can bail me out of jail and explain that I was just following orders." - Larry, Anita
 
"I don't want him hurt because he got out of hand with me."
"Yet you would have shot him." I shrugged.
"I never said I was consistent, just serious." - Anita, Jean-Claude
 
Jean-Claude turned in his seat as far as the seat belt would allow.  I'd insisted everybody wear seat belts, which amused the vampire.  I guess it was silly to have a dead man buckle up, but hey, I was driving. - Anita
 
...One thing I've learned about vampires--they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks.  Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention. - Anita
 
"You are drunk," I said.  He nodded.
"I believe I am...I've drunk deep of two mortals, but neither of you are human."  I didn't want to hear this.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Necromancer with a chaser of werewolf; a drink to make any vampire giddy."  He giggled.  Jean-Claude never giggles.  I ignored him if you can ignore an intoxicated vampire...Larry walked over to us...
"Can we trust him?"
"We're going to have to," I said.  "Help me stand up and let's get out of here before fangface busts a gut."  Jean-Claude was doubled over with laughter.  He seemed to think 'fangface' was outrageously funny.  Ye gods. - Anita, Jean-Claude, Larry
 
I looked at Larry.  There wasn't a drop of blood on him.  He was the only one who hadn't wrestled with vampires tonight.  He shrugged.  "Sorry; I just couldn't get anybody to bleed on me tonight." - Larry
 
I'd thought that maybe Bloody Bones was our killer.  I'd added it to my list of suspects, but hadn't told the cops.  Now I was glad I hadn't...explaining that a nursery boggle from Scotland was committing murders on the etheral plane sounded far-fetched even to me. - Anita
 
[The goat] had floppy white ears and seemed to like having the top of its head scratched.  Larry had petted it in the Jeep on the drive over.  Always a bad idea.  Never get friendly with the sacrifices.  Makes it hard to kill them. - Anita
 
Larry's zombie bag was a nearly virulent green with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on it.  I was almost afraid to ask what his vampire bag looked like. - Anita
 
The Killing Dance
 
"I was just offered a contract on your life, for enough money to make it worth my while."  It was my turn to be quiet.
"Did you take it?"
"Would I be calling you if I had?"
"Maybe," I said.  He laughed.
"True, but I'm not going to take it."
"Why not?"
"Friendship."
"Try again," I said.
"I figure I'll get to kill more people guarding you.  If I take the contract, I only get to kill you."
"Comforting..." - Edward, Anita
 
I knew that a well-placed bullet would destroy it all, but for a few seconds, I felt safe.  Illusion is sometimes all that keeps us sane. - Anita
 
"Dammit, Anita, you could have been killed."
"But I wasn't."
"That's your answer to everything.  If you survive, it's all right."
"It beats the alternative," I said. - Richard, Anita
 
I filled my automatic fish feeder full of enough food for a week.  In a week's time, if the assassin was still after me, and if I was still alive, I'd have to come back.  All the bad guys had to do was stake out my fish tank and they had me if they were patient enough. - Anita
 
"Anita, don't take this wrong.  To me you're worth any amount of money, but why would somebody pay half a million dollars to kill you?"  For someone who knew nothing about assassins, he'd grasped the big question quite nicely. - Richard, Anita
 
"You can stay in here."  I didn't add, keep your hands to yourself.  His face was raw with a need that had nothing to do with sex.  He needed to be held, to be told the monster under the bed wasn't really there.  I couldn't help him on the last.  The monsters were real.  But the first, I might manage that.  Cold-blooded killer that I am, maybe I could share my toy penguin with him. - Anita
 
"What are you doing here, Jason?"
"You don't sound happy to see me."  He was wearing a fishnet T-shirt.
"Isn't it a little early in the morning for fishnet?"
"Wait until you see what I'm wearing to tonight's gala opening of Jean-Claude's dance club."
"I may not be able to make it," I said.  He raised his eyebrows.
"You spend one night under Richard's roof, and you break a date with Jean-Claude."  He shook his head.  "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Look, neither of them own me, okay?"  Jason backed up, hands held up in mock surrender.
"Hey, don't shoot the messenger..." - Anita, Jason
 
"It is too damn early in the morning for furball politics.  If someone wants a piece of me, tell them to go to the back of the line."  She cocked her head to one side, like a curious dog.
"Is it a long line?"
"Lately, yeah."
"I thought all your enemies were dead," Jason said.
"I keep making new ones," I said.  He smiled.
"Fancy that." - Anita, Sylvie, Jason
 
Jean-Claude didn't mind killing people.  Once upon a time, I'd thought that made him monstrous.  Now I agreed with him.  Will the real monster please stand up? - Anita
 
Neal stood, kicking free of the clinging curtain.  "I'll kill you."  I drew the firestar and pointed it at him.
"I don't think so."
"She is pack now," Sylvie said.  "You fight one of us, and you fight all of us."  Edward raised his eyebrows at me.
"What is going on, Anita?"
"I think I've been adopted," I said. - Neal, Anita, Sylvie, Edward
 
Jason patted me on the back.  "Tomorrow night we'll take you out chasing deer."
"I thought you'd chase cars," I said.  He grinned.
"What fun is that?  Cars don't bleed." - Jason, Anita
 
I looked at him.  "You'd trust monsters to watch my back?"  He smiled, and it was pleasant.
"Monsters make excellent cannon fodder."
"They aren't cannon fodder," Richard said.
"Everyone's cannon fodder," Edward said, "eventually." - Anita, Edward, Richard
 
Edward had come out also.  He closed the door behind us.  "I'll be there when you need me, Anita."  I met his eyes.
"I know you will."  He gave the briefest of smiles.
"But just in case, watch your back like a son of a bitch." I smiled.
"Don't I always?"  He glanced at the vampire standing by the open limo door.
"Not as well as I thought you did."  Edward walked into the darkness towards his waiting car before I could think of a reply.  It was just as well.  He was right.  The monsters had finally gotten me.  Seducing me was almost as good as killing me, and nearly as crippling. - Edward, Anita
 
I frowned at him.  "Enough already.  See if I ever give you another apology for anything."
"A dance would suffice," he said.
"I don't dance.  You know that."
"This is the grand opening of my dance club, ma petite.  You are my date.  Are you truly going to deny me even one dance?"  Put that way it sounded petty.
"One dance."  He smiled, wicked, enticing.  The smile that the serpent must have given Eve.
"I think we will dance well together, ma petite."
"I doubt it."
"I think we would do many things well together."
"Give you one dance and you want the whole package.  Pushy bastard."  He gave a small bow, smiling, eyes shining. - Anita, Jean-Claude
 
I could probably have made the head shot from the railing, but with an unfamiliar gun, it was too risky.  I didn't want to accidentally shoot the woman in the head.  Killing the hostage is always frowned upon. - Anita
 
I couldn't see around the bend of the stairs.  I hated not being able to see around corners.  But this time I was invited; I hadn't come to kill anybody.  The vamps tended to be a lot friendlier when you weren't trying to kill them. - Anita
 
I had more legal vampire kills than any other vampire hunter in the country.  They didn't call me the Executioner for nothing.  So how did I end up being safer in the depths of the Circus of the Damned with the monsters than above ground with the humans?  Because somewhere along the line, I didn't kill the monster I should have.  That particular monster was gliding up the hallway ahead of me. And he still had the cutest butt I'd ever seen on a dead man. - Anita
 
He laughed, but it was bitter.  "I threatened my people with this, but you said nothing.  You did not tell me you could truly raise vampires like any other zombie."
"I've only done it once before."
"Indeed," he said.
"Don't get all pissy on me."
"I shall get pissy if I want to," he said... - Jean-Claude, Anita
 
Jean-Claude stood up.  "I will go escort your guest in."
"I better go with you," Edward said.  "Harley doesn't know you, but he'll know what you are."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.
"If a strange vampire walked up to you in this place and said follow me, would you do it?"  I thought about that.
"Probably not."  Edward smiled.
"Neither would Harley." - Jean-Claude, Edward, Anita
 
I nearly get killed twice and I wanted to comfort [Richard].  Love is just plain stupid sometimes. - Anita
 
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"I'd feel better if I could guard your back."
"You're going to do that with a rifle from the closest hill, remember."
"Night vision and scope, fine, but I can't kill them all from a distance."
"You couldn't kill them all if you were johnny on the spot, either," I said.
"No but I'd feel better."
"Worried about me?" He shrugged.
"I'm your bodyguard.  If you die under my protection, the other bodyguards will make fun of me."  It took me a second to realize he was making a joke.  Harley looked back at him with an almost surprised look.  I don't think either of us heard humor from Edward much. - Anita, Edward
 
There was a knock on the door.  Richard came in without waiting for an invitation.  He was scowling, but the grumpy look faded when he got a good look at me.  His eyes widened.  "I was going to come in and complain about my outfit."  He shook his head.  "If I complain, will you just shoot me?" - Richard
 
One thing I could always depend on was Jean-Claude.  Pain in the ass that he was, he always seemed to be there.  Dependable in his own twisted way.  Jean-Claude dependable?  I must have been more tired than I thought. - Anita
 
Burnt Offerings
 
It wasn't mercy.  I didn't want to go to jail.  The fact that the punishment worried me more than the crime said something about my moral state.  Some days I thought I was becoming a sociopath.  Some days I thought I was already there. - Anita
 
Mercy will get you killed, but sometimes it's all that makeds us human. - Anita
 
Questions are great, but only if you know the answers.  If you ask questions and the answers surprise you, you look silly.  Hard to be threatening when you look ill-informed. - Anita
 
"So just tell me what you like on the menu, and we'll negotiate."
"All that is required is that you taste what is ordered.  You do not have to eat it."
"No, no more of this tasting shit.  I've gained weight.  I never gain weight."
"You have gained four pounds, so I am told.  Though I have searched diligently for this phantom four pounds and cannot find them.  It brings your weight up to a grand total of one hundred and ten pounds, correct?"
"That's right."
"Oh, ma petite, you are growing gargantuan."  I looked at him, and it was not a friendly look. - Anita, Jean-Claude
 
It was too much to take in all at once.  When in doubt, ignore and be unimpressed. - Anita
 
Asher was a vampire.  How much more dangerous could he be with a gun?  But I couldn't do it.  "Let me test my understanding.  Is Asher going to ride in the car with us to the meeting?"
"I must to give you directions," Asher said.
"Then lean against the Jeep."  He frowned at me in an amused, condescending sort of way.
"Excuse me?"
"I don't care if you're the second coming of the Antichrist, you can't sit behind me in my own car until I know you're not carrying a weapon."  Asher smiled briliantly at both of us, flashing fang.
"...I could rip you into pieces with my bare hands, and you're worried I have a gun?"  He chuckled, a low, skin-prickling sound.  "That is so very cute." - Anita, Asher
 
"He would have killed us," I said.
"Council's privilage," Asher said.
"That's rediculous," I said.  "You're saying because we didn't roll over and die, we're going to be killed now?" - Anita, Asher
 
He hissed at me, and there was nothing human in the gesture.  I gave him a bored look.  "Come off it, Asher. Been there, done that.  If You want to play big-bad-vampire, get in line." - Anita
 
She looked serious now, her strong Nordic face blank and unreadable.  "Look into my eyes."  I shook my head.
"What do you guys do, sit around watching old Dracula movies and stealing the dialogue?" - Liv, Anita
 
I was crying.  I'd been talking about putting a bullet in Sylvie earlier today.  Now I was crying for her.  Some big tough sociopath I turned out to be. - Anita
 
I'd managed to keep my feet through vampirs, shapeshifters, human servants, and arsonists, but a pair of high heels had set me back on my ass.  Vanity, thy name is woman. - Anita
 
"Jesus, you look like shit," I said.  He almost smiled.
"Thanks, I need that."
"What's wrong, Larry?"
"Other than my back feels like a red-hot poker is being shoved up it?"
"Besides that," I said.
"I'll tell you in the car."  I didn't argue with him, just started walking for the Jeep.  I turned and found him standing very still, eyes closed, hands in fists at his sides.  I walked back to him.
"Need a hand?"
He opened his eyes, smiled, "A back, actually.  Hands work fine." - Anita, Larry
 
Never trust people who smile constantly.  They're either selling something or not very bright. - Anita
 
The only thing that kept me from making some scathing remark was that I'd pretty much given my word to let Jean-Claude do the talking tonight.  He thought I might say something to piss someone off.  Who, me? - Anita
 
Blue Moon
 
Bob, Catherine's husband, answered on the fifth ring, voice so heavy with sleep it was almost unintelligible.  Only the bass growl let me know which of them it was.  Neither of them woke gracefully.  "Bob, this is Anita.  I need to speak with Catherine.  It's business."
"You at a police station?" he asked.  See, Bob knew me. - Anita, Bob
 
The air slapped against the plane, making it shudder.  Turbulence, just turbulence.  Jason kissed the top of my head.  "You know you're actually cute when you're scared."  I turned very slowly in the seat and stared at him.  I would have liked to say I stared at him until his smile faded away, but we didn't have that kind of time.  Jason would grin on his way into hell. - Jason, Anita
 
"Don't touch me."  The grin widened.  His eyes sparkled with it.
"Who me?"  I sighed and settled back into the seat.  It was going to be a very long couple of days. - Anita, Jason
 
Damian said, "If I'm not interrupting, I need to feed."  He was standing by the door, hugging himself as if he were cold.
"You want me to open the door and yell dinner?" I asked. - Damian, Anita
 
Her first words were, "I cannot believe you dated that woman.  She is a whore."  Richard looked embarrassed, more than I'd gotten from him.
"I know what she is."
"Did you have sex with her?"
"Mother!"
"Don't you mother me, Richard Alaric Zeeman."
"Alaric," I said.  Richard spared me a frown, then turned back to his mother. - Charlotte, Richard, Anita
 
Jason was still sitting against the desk, watching the show.  I looked at him without turning around.  "You do realize that you're the only one who seems to be enjoying the view."  He shrugged, grinning.
"It's a nice view."  I raised my eyebrows.
"Don't tell me you're gay."
"Don't tell me you care," he replied.  My eyebrows went up a little farther.
"My heart is breaking.  I'll have to burn all my lingerie."  I kept watching his face.  He was smiling but not like it was a joke. - Anita, Jason
 
Damian had gone to his knees staring at his hands.  He ripped his shirt off in pieces, leaving remnants of the sleeves on his arms.  The rotting flesh was halfway to his elbows.  "I healed Damian once of a facial cut," I said.  Damian made a sound between a laugh and something more bitter.
"I didn't nick myself shaving, Anita." - Anita, Damian
 
Asher's voice broke the stillness.  "We can all walk away from here tonight, Colin."
"Impressively violent," Colin said, "but I think you are mistaken.  Poor Archie will not be walking anywhere."
"My apologies to Archie," I said.
"I must have payment for him, Miss Blake."
"You can bill me." - Asher, Colin, Anita
 
He raised his face back up to me.  He grinned, and started to roll off of me.  The door opened and Richard was just suddenly standing there staring down at us.  Perfect, just perfect. "Would you believe I slipped?" Jason asked.
"No," Richard said.  That one word was very cold. - Jason, Richard
 
Jamil looked at me for a second, then went and offered his arm to Jason, who refused the offer.  "If Anita doesn't need help, neither do I."
"Don't be a hard case," I said.
"Now, that's the pot calling the kettle black," Jason said.
"If I offered you my arm, you'd take it," I said.
"An excuse to hang all over a pretty girl?  Sure." - Jason, Anita
 
"If you don't do exactly what I say, your girlfriend gets it."  I wanted to say, 'Who writes your dialogue?' but I didn't. - Chuck, Anita
 
[Roland] jerked back too fast to see, and his fist was suddenly connecting with my chin.  I didn't pass out, but my body went limp.  Part of me was screaming silently.  The other part was saying, 'Oh, what pretty trees.' - Anita
 
Cops don't spook easily.  Give them a few years on the job, and they perfect jaded indifference: been there, done that, wasn't impressed, didn't bother to get a T-shirt. - Anita
 
"Linus will search you for wires, then we can talk."
"I don't want him touching me.  Nothing personal, Linus."
"I must insist it be Linus, in case you have some magic or other about your person that would disturb us."  I frowned at him.
"Like what?  The holy hand grenade?" - Franklin Niley, Anita
 
Sheriff Wilkes sent Maiden and Thompson to escort us out of town in a black and white, or in this case, a blue and white, but the effect was the same.  Thompson waved merrily as we drove past them out of the city limits.  It would have been childish to give him the finger, so I didn't do it.  Zane did it for me.  Jason blew him a kiss. - Anita
 
"I am your creature.  I have made vows of loyalty to Jean-Claude as my Master of the City, and I honor them, but you I would follow into hell itself.  Not out of duty, but out of desire.  I can think of nothing better than to be by your side." - Damian
 
I pushed him away from me.  "I tortured a man, Jason.  I reduced him to something that writhed on the floor, mewling with terror and pain.  And I wanted to do it.  I wanted to do it."  I shook my head.  "I'll do my bit tnonight, but forgive me if it's a little harder to keep going than normal.  Forgive me if I'm not superwoman, after all."
"Not superwoman?" he exclaimed, putting a hand on his chest in mock surprise.  "You've lied to me all these years!"  It made me smile, and I didn't want to smile. - Anita, Jason
 
"...is life supposed to stop because you did something horrible?  I'll tell you the real horrible truth, Anita.  No matter what you do or how bad you feel about it, life just goes on.  Life doesn't give a fuck that you're sorry or upset or deranged or tormented.  Life just goes on, and you gotta go on with it, or sit in the middle of the road and feel sorry for yourself." - Jason
 
Obsidian Butterfly
 
"Any clues in the cookie jar?"  Edward asked from his chair.
"No," I said.  "I just had to know if it really mooed." - Edward, Anita
 
Narcissus in Chains
 
"Breathe, Anita, remember to breathe." - Jason
 
Cerulean Sins
 
Behind the circus was dark and quiet.  The calliope music that blared out front was a distant dream back here.  Once upon a time I'd only come to the circus to kill vampires.  Now I used the employee parking lot.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen. - Anita
 
What was I supposed to say, that if I hadn't been so squeamish this wouldn't be happening?  I'm sorry I have issues with my boyfriend doing other men. - Anita
 
You'd think with my reputation, vampires would stop understanding me.  But dead or alive, there are always fools. - Anita
 
Zerbrowski shrugged, "Katie gave me strict orders to invite you and Micah over for dinner the next time I saw you.  So here it is, and when can you come over?"
"I'll ask Micah what our schedule looks like."  His eyes flicked to Jason, and he grinned.  The grin reminded me so much of Jason's grin that it made me wonder what Zerbrowski had been like in college, when Katie and he met.
"Unless you've changed guys again?"
"No," I said, "Jason's just a friend."
"The friend speech," Jason clutched his heart with his free hand, the other still wrapped around mine, "it cuts so deep." - Zerbrowski, Anita, Jason
 
My vision took a second to focus, then I saw the knee beside my face was wearing hose, and a skirt.  I knew it wasn't one of the men, unless they had hobbies I didn't know about. - Anita
 
I had to close my eyes and breathe, in and out, concentrate on just breathing.  I would not cry.  I would not fucking cry.  Every time I thought Richard had gotten the last tears he'd ever get from me, I always seemed to be wrong.  Every time I thought there was no other way he could tear me up, he found a new way.  Nothing turns to hate so bitter as what once was love. - Anita
 
"It looks like it's your turn to take one for the team," Jason's voice from the front.
"What?"
"You're going to get munched on," Jason said. - Jason, Caleb
 
Vampires were always either trying to kill me, or own me.  God I hated being popular. - Anita
 
I wasn't sure I liked how sure Jean-Claude was of me, but I couldn't really argue without lying, so I let it go.  Shutting the fuck up is seldom a bad move on my part. - Anita
 
Guns don't care if you're psychically gifted.  Guns don't care about anything.  They don't bitch at you about the rules in your personal life, either.  Of course, neither does a dog, but I don't have to use a pooper-scooper after I'm through shooting my gun. - Anita
 
One of my favorite things about hanging out with the monsters is the healing.  Straight humans seemed to get killed on me a lot.  Monsters survived.  Let's hear it for the monsters. - Anita
 
"I only need one of you for questioning, the other is just gravy.  I'll do my best to see that one of you lives, but I won't break a sweat to save you both, because I don't need you both.  Is that clear?"  The blond said, 'yes,' the other one said, 'crystal fucking clear'.  Oh, yeah, he was American, only we have that poetic turn of phrase. - Anita
 
I raised the sleeves on my shirt and showed my own healing scratches.  "When I was afraid I'd hurt him more I scratched myself..." [Zerbrowski] almost touched some of the deeper scratches on my arm, then stopped and almost touched the scratches on Jason's arms.
"I hope the sex was good."  Jason looked down at the table top, and did his best impression of an aw' shucks look.  He managed to look coy and pleased with himself all at the same time.
"That's answer enough," I said.  Jason flashed me a grin that made his baby blues sparkle.
"Whatever you say, mistress."  I gave him a very mean look, that didn't dim his enjoyment one bit. - Zerbrowski, Anita, Jason
 
"You look like shit," I said.  [Jason] smiled, without opening his eyes.
"You sweet-talker." - Anita, Jason
 
A loud honking and the screech of brakes brought me back to the road, and the fact that I was driving.  I managed not to hit anyone, but it was close.  I threaded my way through a forest of rude gestures and Jason's laughter.  "I feel better now," he said, laughter still thick in his voice...
"What is so damned funny?" I said...
"I was trying to flirt and it worked.  You've never reacted to my body before, not even when I was naked."  I concentrated on the road, really hard...He chortled.  "You're blushing for me. Oh, God, yes!" - Jason, Anita
 
We were both ignoring the vampire that was glowering at us.  Nothing takes the wind out of your sails when you're trying to be scary like being ignored. - Anita
 
I'd never been in a room that was lit entirely by gas lamps.  I'd half expected there to be an odor of gas, but there wasn't.  Jean-Claude informed me that if I smelled gas it would mean there was a leak, and we should probably run like hell.  Okay, what he actually said was we should leave as quickly as possible, but I knew what he meant. - Anita
 
Damian came through the black drapes.  His scarlet hair glowed against the cream and gold of his old-fashioned clothes.  Only his hair, loose and blazing, was untamed, and recognizably him.  He had not volunteered to be one of Jean-Claude's pretty men.  Damian was a touch homophobic.  Boy, had he fallen in with the wrong bunch of vampires. - Anita
 
I believed in love, but I believed in evil, too.  Neither love nor evil conquers all, but evil cheats more. - Anita
 
I realized in that moment that Richard was still living in that other world.  The world where people played fair and horrible things never really happened.  It must have been a peaceful place to live, the planet that people like Richard called home.  I'd always admired the view, but I'd never lived there.  The trouble was that Richard didn't live there either. - Anita
 
He caught me looking at him, and there was something in his eyes, a pain, a loss, as deep as the ocean, as wide as the sea.  I loved him.  I really loved him...I had this horrible urge to run to him, to let him sweep me up in his arms, to chase that hurt from his eyes.  But he probably wouldn't sweep me up in his arms.  He'd probably just look at me, uncomprehending.  And that would make me hate him.  I didn't want to hate Richard. - Anita
 
I still carried a piece of Raina's munin, in me.  She was a sexual sadist but she'd also fiercely protected the very people she tortured.  The woman had needed some serious therapy...I never felt bad about killing Raina.  Funny that. - Anita
 
Never argue when you're winning. - Anita
 
She fought, but she couldn't keep the arrogance off her face.  I guess when you've been alive longer than Christ has been dead, you can't help but be arrogant. - Anita
 
Belle glanced back once at Valentina and Bartolomé as they stood in their shining white and gold clothes.  That one glance back said worlds.  Belle let them stay because guilt is a wonderful motivator even among the dead. - Anita
 
If a guy says he'll be okay, you take him at his word, even if you don't believe it.  The only exception is when lives are at stake, then the guy code can be broken, but the man that you broke it with will probably never forgive you. - Anita
 
[Zerbrowski] smiled. "...you are such a fucking pain in the ass, Anita."
"It's a talent," I said...We stood in the doorway and smiled at each other.  "Now," I said, "how many people were killed in the bathroom."  His smile slid into a full grin.
"Why do you ask?"
"You bastard," I said.  He wiggled his eyebrows above the rim of his glasses.
"Not what my mom says, though you're not the first to speculate." - Zerbrowski, Anita
 
I looked at the tub again.  "Are there bits of bodies in the tub?"
"Dolph would make you go fish."  I stared up at him.
"...but you're not Dolph, and I'm not in the mood."
"We left the bits in there special for you, Anita.  No joke...You're our monster expert and if this isn't a monster, I don't know what is."  He had me there.
"It's a monster, Zerbrowski, but is it a human monster or something else?  That's the sixty-four-billion-dollar question."
"I thought it was sixty-four-thousand-dollar question," he said.
"Inflation," I said.  "Do you at least have any long gloves, or something?"
"No long gloves on me," he said.
"I fucking hate you," I said.
"Not the first to say it today," he said, and he seemed tired again. - Anita, Zerbrowski
 
Merlioni made a sort of crowing sound.  "I knew it, I won."  I looked at him, then at Zerbrowski.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
Zerbrowski didn't even look embarrassed when he said, "We had a bet going on whether you'd actually fish around in the tub."  I sighed and shook my head.
"You are all such unmitigated bastards."
"Unmitigated, ooh," said Merlioni, "if you use big words to insult us, Blake, we'll never figure it out." - Merlioni, Anita, Zerbrowski
 
I glanced at Webster.  He was damn near six feet.  "Can you spot Sergeant Zerbrowski?"
"He's on the far side of the room."
"Can you get his attention?"  He got a mischievous grin on his face, a look that Zerbrowski and Jason had made me dread.
"I could put you on my shoulders, then he'd spot you."  I gave him a look that wilted the grin into a smile.  He shrugged.
"Sorry."  But it was the kind of sorry I'm used to, the one Jason always gives me when he's not sorry at all. - Anita, Webster
 
He saw the badge, and he smiled, taking another bite of his sandwich..."Are you going to warn me not to move, tell me to freeze?"
"No," I said, and I shot him...I fired into his body twice more before I got close enough to watch his mouth open and shut...I circled wide, so I could get a closer head shot.
He lay on his back and bled, and managed to cough blood, and clear his throat enough to say, "Police have to give warning.  Can't just shoot."  I...sighted on his forehead just above the eyes.
"I'm not police, Van Anders, I'm the executioner."
His eyes widened, and he said, "No."  I pulled the trigger and watched most of his face explode into an unrecognizable mess.  His eyes had been bluer than in the photos. - Van Anders, Anita
 
Larry is back in town...The wedding is set for October.  Tammy is threatening to have me in the wedding.  Some friends they are. - Anita
 
...I'm learning that you have to make time for what's important.  You have to fight to carve little pieces of happiness out of your life, or the everyday emergencies will eat up everything. - Anita















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